Moving past a loss

A week ago we said goodbye to our dog Watson. It was sudden and awful and I've been having a really hard time with it. Watson has been my almost constant companion since moving to Colorado nearly 5 years ago. Even though my days were busy in the studio,  at my computer or just dealing with day to day stuff, he was always there. Until he wasn't. There were very few warning signs, and those didn't come until he went in for what I thought would be a stomach bug that they could give him some meds for and he came out with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. We were all heartbroken. My husband and I kept busy that whole weekend with day trips to the zoo and up to Estes Park, but then he returned to work and the house has been so quiet. My studio has sat exactly as it did with dirty paint brushes in gunky water and the appearance that I might be working. But I haven't been. I have had a really difficult time feeling creative and haven't really felt like doing a whole lot of anything. I know I can't continue like this though. I have deadlines coming up and things I have to get done. So today I cleaned it all up and started a new piece. Well, I've drawn it out on the canvas. The hardest part was trying to decide what I wanted to work on, since I still don't feel much spark. It actually felt good to be in there and doing something productive. I know with time it will get easier, I won't cry every time I think of him and we'll even think about another pup. But we're not there right now, and I'm not there right now and so I'll just be satisfied with baby steps. In fact I haven't cried while writing this at all. That's a good sign. Until next time...

 Watson...my friend, my companion, my studio dog

Watson...my friend, my companion, my studio dog